What is the Marxist Nudist Taxidermy Club?
The Marxist Nudist Taxidermy Club is a business that has been selling discount suitcases and janitorial supplies since 1973. Over the years, we've expanded our operations to include erotic machete juggling, condo development, and a veritable multitude of philanthropic activities. The MNT Club has never been involved in the assassination of any prominent political figures, and whoever has been telling you otherwise is a damn fool and you shouldn't believe anything they say.
Is it really that simple though? In this crazy run-a-muck universe full of quantum entanglement and furry stray dogs, is it truly possible to define anything with such a short and concise answer? Yes, yes it is - so keep your hair-splitting philosophical inquiries to yourself, buddy!
Now check out our merchandise and spend some money!!!
Our best selling suitcase gets updated for the 21st century!
Features
- Made of space age materials like leather and metal.
- Blue exterior confuses would-be thieves.
- Checked for quality by a dog that has been trained to check for quality.
- Large enough to fit that child you see at the park who never seems to have any parental supervision.
- Compatible for travel in over 137 different countries.*
*Suitcase may disintegrate if brought into the following nations: Andorra, Azerbaijan, Bahrain, Belgium, Burkina Faso, Dominica, Ecuador, Equatorial Guinea, Fiji, Finland, Guatemala, Hungary, Japan, Kuwait, Latvia, Lesotho, Manchuko, Marshall Islands, Naked Lady Paradise, Nauru, Nepal, Old Zealand, Older Zealand, Panama, Quebec, Saint Lucia, Tanzania, Togo, Uganda, Vatican City, and Zambia.
Save time, money, and space with this miracle product!
Features
- Titanium alloy gyroscope embedded in the Broomop handle provides a 300% boost in overall balanceability.
- Broom bristles are firm enough for effective sweeping, yet soft enough to tickle the stomach of a shirtless man from a distance without producing the usual "bristle rash".
- Certificate from the Catholic Church guarantees that you are not attempting to "play God" by using this marvel of technology.
- The Broomop is sort of like a hilarious buddy cop comedy where the mop head is the wildcard officer that doesn't play by the rules and the broom head is the uptight, goody two shoes officer that believes in the moral authority of proper regulations. By the time your floor is clean, these two characters will learn that, despite their differences, they work great together.
- No clinical studies have shown that the Broomop can't cure syphilis.
- 20+ hour lifespan on 3 AA batteries*
*1 D battery provided with purchase.
